Do You Control Your Life?

    Does life seem to happen to you or are you the master of your destiny? What degree of control do you really have about what happens in your life? In this post, we’ll explore what you control, what you don’t, and how to achieve personal mastery.

    A powerful perspective has emerged in the past decade that goes something like this: “You can attract into your life whatever you desire.” This statement tends to get people very excited. It gives many people hope that they can change their lives in ways that will make them healthier, wealthier, and happier. It gives people hope that they can attract their soul mate and their dream job. What I love about this statement is that it empowers people to open up to possibilities and do something about them.

    Now, as many people have sought to put this statement into practice, there’s been mixed results. For some people imagining what they desire and holding it in their mind has seemed like magic, drawing to them circumstances and events that seem to be the exact fulfillment of what they imagined. For others, imagining what they desire has been an exercise in frustration. It’s brought repeated disappointments as things haven’t worked out as they hoped they would.

    Are some people just better at this than others? Do some people have the Midas touch, while others don’t? Is it a matter of practice, or sincerity, or intensity, or . . . Is it because some of us have more inner resistance, doubt, and fear related to what we desire? Or is it simply fate? Perhaps some of us are luckier than the rest?
    As I witness what happens in my own life and the lives of my clients, a couple things have become apparent about this whole “manifestation” process. One is this:

    Each of us is given specific personal qualities, interests, talents, and resources. We are happiest and most “in the flow” of life’s resources when we acknowledge, develop, and share what we’ve been given. We have the most success and enjoyment when we are in alignment with “who we are” and “what we are here to do.” So job one is to discern our “authentic possibilities.”

    Second, on the path of our authentic possibilities, we are asked to face any inner limits, fears, doubts, and past pain that we are holding onto. As we acknowledge, accept, and integrate these “broken” parts of ourselves, we heal and become freer. As a result, life flows more smoothly and abundantly. Our authentic possibilities are paths of healing that are unique to each of us.

    So what can you control in your life?

    At least two things:

    1. What you focus on

    2. How you relate to whatever happens

    If you choose to focus on your authentic possibilities, so that you grow and share what you have been given, you align with your right path. You may think you want many different things, but only when you discover and commit to your authentic possibilities will you experience yourself flowing with Life’s current and finding the peace, satisfaction, and abundance that comes from that.

    Second, if you relate to whatever happens on your authentic path as an opportunity to learn and grow, you’ll free yourself from thinking that something has gone wrong when you meet with challenges. Challenges are opportunities to clear inner resistance, to heal, and realize a deeper grace that is always carrying you along your authentic path.

    No matter what happens in life, you can learn to control what you focus on and how you relate to whatever happens.

    Enjoy your practice,


    Kevin Schoeninger

    P.S. This week on Spiritual Growth Monthly, we explored two powerful actions to boost your energy and mood. Click here to learn more.

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