How to Shift From Reaction to Inner Power

    This week, we’ve learned to notice five signs that our subconscious defenses have been triggered and a simple step to take when that happens. Today, we’ll talk about how to turn the moment we notice our reactions into a moment of personal transformation.

    Once you’ve recognized that you’ve slipped into a habitual defense that is not serving anyone’s best interests and you’ve inserted a mental pause to interrupt that, you can work with that moment productively. When your defenses are active you have a great opportunity to learn from them and grow into a better version of yourself.

    You can begin by appreciating the hidden gains in your defense mechanisms. What are you getting or preventing by slipping into that reaction? When you have insight about why you are doing what you are doing, you gain a little perspective on it.

    For example, the tension in your back may be stopping you from doing something that you’d really rather not be doing. Blaming someone else may keep you from bad feelings about yourself. Getting lost in entertainment may help you step out of a stressful situation and take your mind somewhere else. Drinking alcohol may be calming your anxiety.

    Appreciate why you are doing what you are doing, so you understand your inner dynamics. If you just get lost in what you are doing or just say, “I shouldn’t be doing that!” you lose the chance to learn from it.

    Moments of tension, pain, blame, conflict, and addiction are your greatest transformational opportunities. Those are your moments of power. At those exact moments, you have the power to step inside your experience, learn more about yourself and others, and shift the pattern that is activated, so you can move productively forward.

    More on how to do that tomorrow. . .

    Kevin

    Kevin Schoeninger

    P.S. The Life You Are Meant to Live Program empowers you to recognize and release your inner defenses, so you can discover your purpose and live your dreams.

      4 Responses to “How to Shift From Reaction to Inner Power”

      1. Monya says:

        Good morning Kevin, I read your post and I find it very helpful. When I get very tired due to a lack of sleep(my two year old does not sleep well when she teeth and this can last up to two weeks sometimes) I find myself getting short tempered and frustrated, often snapping and grumbling. The quick answer would be to just get sleep, easier said than done.I recognise that this is an opportunity to work on my inner patterns. I would really appreciate some guidance from you on how to make these situations gifts rather than grumbles. Many thanks, Monya

        1. Hi Monya,
          Handling a teething two-year old is a great emotional challenge. When I was dealing with that myself, it seemed as if my son’s crying triggered some deep unconscious reactions in me that were way more dramatic than the situation warranted. I often found myself feeling as if I was going to explode. A couple things proved helpful for me. First, was to realize that if I calmed myself, my son would calm down. If I was able to take several deep breaths and exhale the tension, it brought things down a notch.

          Then, if I was able to witness my feelings without being caught up in or identified with them, that created a little more breathing space in the situation. It helped me to let go of my own stress and connect with a deeper love I have for my son. Underneath it all, there’s a peace and love that is always available, if sometimes difficult to connect with.

          Ultimately, as you suggested, if you can view that moment of tension as an opportunity for you to heal and to bring that healing to your child as well that is a great gift.

          I hope there is something in this response that you find helpful.

          Best wishes,
          Kevin

      2. Monya says:

        Many thanks Kevin, very grateful for the helpful insight.

      3. Your welcome Monya. Thanks for appreciating this.
        Kevin

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