Archive for April 1st, 2011

Unraveling the Mystery of Unfinished Business

Do you ever have a reaction that carries so much more weight than is warranted by what is actually happening? It’s as if a slight trigger was the secret key to Pandora’s box. Before you know it, you’re caught up in waves of dramatic feelings that carry you off.

A normal first reaction is to blame whatever triggered your feeling. Following that tack, you might say things that blow the situation out of proportion even more. Now you’re deep in a situation that is even more challenging to climb out of.

When you look back at what was actually said or done, it really wasn’t a big deal. How did it lead to such huge feelings?

At that point, you may ask yourself some questions, such as:

1. “Has something like this happened before?”

2. “Is there a recurring theme between these events?”

3. “Does what’s happening now relate to some “seed” event earlier in my life that was dramatic at the time?”

With those questions, you shift the focus from blaming someone or something else to understanding more about your own reaction.

As you make that shift, it can be helpful to accept your reaction without being hard on yourself. This enables you to ask, “Is there anything I can do to positively resolve and be finished with that old business?”

Sometimes just seeing the chain of reactions frees us from their grip. Other times, we gain insight into something we can do to let go and move on. In the least, we may gain enough insight to take ownership and say “I’m sorry, I really over-reacted there.”


Kevin Schoeninger

P.S. At Spiritual Growth Monthly we explore insights and inner practices to help us recognize and release unfinished business.

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